


Just Late Enough at Night

by screaming_bird



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Squip, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Mell, because he's trans and so am i, this is really shitty and really gay lmao, trans michael is only briefly mentioned but i still wanted to include it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 19:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14315925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screaming_bird/pseuds/screaming_bird
Summary: It's really late at night and they're having a sleepover at Jeremy's house. Jeremy already knows Michael likes him and is trying to confess his feelings.





	Just Late Enough at Night

**Author's Note:**

> gnfjfjjvnfjf i can't write summaries

At first, Jeremy really didn't think he was brave enough. Though he'd had a whole plan for how he was gonna confess his feelings, the moment he'd opened the door to find Michael grinning at him with a smile warm enough to rival the sun, he'd immediately lost all his nerve. Though he was pretty sure he knew Michael felt the same way, he still spent the entire evening trying to build up his courage, only to have it torn down again whenever Michael would flash him that brilliant, beautiful smile, or when Michael would lean against him as they watched a dumb movie and Jeremy lost all capability to form coherent thoughts, or- well- when he did anything at all.

But finally, late at night, when they were both lying down on the queen bed in the basement, trying to go to sleep, Michael's binder folded and put away for the night, Jeremy actually got the courage to say something.

"Michael?"

Jeremy heard shifting beside him. "Yeah?" In the dark, the only way he knew Michael was there was his voice, soft and sort of gravelly but loud enough for him to hear.

Jeremy hesitated. "Do you- do you think I'm ugly?"

The movement beside him stopped for a moment, and the basement was silent. Then, some more shifting and the lamp on the poor excuse for a bedside table turned on. Blinking away the sudden light, Jeremy registered that Michael was rolling over on the sheets to face him.

Michael looked at him for a moment, seemingly a little upset. "Are you seriously asking me that? If you're- if you're ugly?"

Jeremy sat up against the headboard, looking down at where he was playing with his hands in his lap. "I don't know man. I just- I just sometimes feel like I- like I am, and that's why no one really likes me, and when I had the SQUIP it told me- told me that I was ugly and I-"

Jeremy was cut short by Michael's hands coming to rest gently on his cheeks, tilting his head so Michael could get a better look at him. Noting how Michael's eyes were squinting in the dim light, Jeremy reached behind him, grabbing Michael's glasses from the bedside table and handing them to him. "Here."

"Thanks, dude." Michael put on his glasses and looked at him again, straight in the eyes before roaming his face, glancing from his eyes to his lips to his hair to his cheeks, to his lips again for half a second before continuing to search his face.

Jeremy took the moment to admire Michael, as well. In the dim light, his brown skin had a bit of a golden glow to it. His dark eyes were glimmering behind his glasses, and his full, pink lips were slightly parted. Jeremy wanted nothing more than to lean forward and gently kiss him, but held himself back as Michael began to speak.

"No. You're not ugly."

"You really think so?" Jeremy knew the answer. He'd recently started to notice the way Michael looked at him, the things he said, the things he didn't say. Jeremy hadn't mentioned it, but he saw the way Michael's breath caught slightly whenever he smiled at him, noticed the way Michael would stare at his lips when he thought Jeremy wasn't looking, noticed the way Michael's expression seemed to soften whenever he saw Jeremy in any situation- at school, arriving at his house, anything. He was pretty sure he knew what everything meant.

Jeremy was pulled from his thoughts by Michael's voice. "Of course I think so. You're-" he sucked in a small breath- "you're really gorgeous. I mean, objectively."

That surprised Jeremy. Gorgeous, huh. "What do you mean?"

Michael looked away from him. "I mean- you're- you always say you hate your hair because you think it's too frizzy, but I really like how curly it is. Everyone else does too, I know it. They're, like, ringlets, dude, and everyone thinks it's gorgeous. And you have really nice, clear, blue eyes. You think they're too pale but no one else does, they're really striking and, uh," Michael's voice wavered a little, "they're really pretty. And I know you say you hate your acne, but it, um, it suits you, I guess. It looks really nice with your freckles and your- your pale skin is also really pretty. You think you look like you're sick all the time but, um." Michael hesitated. "You look gorgeous." He cleared his throat, still not looking at Jeremy.

The flush on Michael's face gave Jeremy all the courage he needed. "Can I kiss you?"

Michael's eyes immediately shot up. The sudden eye contact startled Jeremy a bit, but he kept his gaze trained on Michael as Michael's eyes searched his face for any sign of a joke. There wasn't one.

"What?"

Jeremy fidgeted a bit. "I asked if I could kiss you." 

The air felt a little too thick.

"You-" Michael stopped short, blinking. "You want to kiss me?"

Jeremy let out a surprised, quick bark of a laugh. "Um, yes? I, uh, though that was, um, obvious."

Michael stared a little below Jeremy's eyes for a few moments, seemingly processing what Jeremy was saying, what he meant. And suddenly, his face sort of scrunched up, his eyebrows drawing together and his lip quivering slightly, his eyes still firmly refusing to look at Jeremy's, and Jeremy realized quickly that Michael was about to cry.

"Oh, Michael." Before Jeremy could process his own actions, he was shifting closer to Michael, reaching out his arms just under Michael's to pull him in for a hug.

As soon as they made contact, Michael buried his face in the crook of Jeremy's neck and his fingers latched onto the back of Jeremy's t-shirt, pulling him in ever closer as he began to cry. Jeremy just held him tightly, carding his fingers through Michael's hair, listening to Michael choke out his name over and over again between quiet sobs and whispering sweetly to him in an attempt to calm him down.

"Shhhh, Michael, Michael, it's okay." He removed his hand from Michael's hair and brought it to his cheek, guiding his face so that he was looking up at Jeremy through red-rimmed eyes.

"Everything's okay."

And even though Michael was still crying, his breathing uneven and his face splotchy and red, his face stained by tear tracks, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears, even though he was hiccuping ever so slightly, Jeremy still thought he was the most stunning thing he'd ever seen.

Michael Mell was the most stunning thing in the world.

And then Jeremy's mouth was moving too quickly for his brain to catch up.

"I love you."

Michael's face immediately flushed a dark brown color that Jeremy thought looked very nice on him, and his grip tightened on Jeremy's shirt as his gaze tore away. Michael began quickly stuttering out unfinished pieces of words.

Michael stopped his sputtering, his face flushing ever darker. Then, he opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and said, in a very small voice, "Really?"

And Jeremy's face was flushing, too, at Michael's voice, the expression on his face, how his hands were still planted on Jeremy's back, and at the fact that he had to answer such a question. He cleared his throat.

"Yes." he took a moment to breathe, ready to spill everything he'd kept a secret ever since he first figured it out.

"Michael, I've loved you for as long as i can remember. Since- since we were kids, probably. I never really realized what I was- what I was really feeling, but it's always sort of been there in the back of my head. I, uh, kind of figured it out in freshman year but I push- pushed it away because it- it kind of scared me." He let out a small laugh and let his eyes drop to where his arms were still looped under Michael's. "Once Christine and I broke up and she told me- she told me she thought she liked Brooke, I started, um, letting myself think about- about us. Like. In a romantic way." He paused to take a breath. "And that scared me too, because I- I really liked that idea. Of us. I liked thinking about you, and I liked thinking about how much you do for me, even though I don't- I don't really deserve it, and the way you sound when you're talking about music, and when it's really late at night and you don't wanna let me know you're tired but I can still always tell, and when you're high and not scared to hold my hand and rest your head on my lap, and the way you look when you're concentrated on something, how your eyes get darker and your eyebrows kinda scrunch up, and how warm you are, and-" he stopped for a second. "And I liked- I liked thinking about kissing you, too. And then I- I realized how I really felt about you and it was terrifying and amazing and- and dizzying and I really didn't know what to do about it."

Michael's eyes were shining with something other than tears now, and his mouth was crooked up into a sort of smile. Jeremy could feel Michael's hands on his back, pulling him in a little bit again, and he was smiling down at Michael, too. "And then I realized you might sort of like me too and I-"

Michael laughed. "You though I- I might sort of like you?" He grinned up at Jeremy and Jeremy's knees went a little weak, despite the fact that they were both still sitting down. "Jeremy, I've been in love with you for five years. You make it really easy, y'know. You're just so... I... Jesus, I can't believe I'm so lucky. To have- to have you love me..." Michael's ears were red and he kind of looked like he was going to cry again. "I mean, I never thought you'd... I tried to get myself comfortable with the idea of you, um," Michael bit his lip. "Of you never loving me back. I was sure that that was the only possible outcome of this whole thing, so I tried to never let myself even think about..."

He really looked like he was going to cry again, and Jeremy really didn't want that to happen, so he cradled Michael's face in his hands, forcing Michael to look at him, and said, "I- I really love you. I promise. And I'm never going to stop loving you, even if you don't- don't want me to anymore."

Michael was looking straight into his eyes. "I'm never going to ask you to stop loving me. And I-" he placed his hand over Jeremy's where it was resting on his cheek. "I'd love to be allowed to keep loving you forever. If you'll let me."

Jeremy grinned. "Of course."

And they were moving closer together, eyes closing slowly, Michael's hands gently tugging at the front of Jeremy's shirt and Jeremy's hands still resting on Michael's face, and when their noses brushed and Jeremy could feel Michael's breath on his lips, they both hesitated briefly.

Jeremy brushed his thumb over Michael's cheekbone, and softly pressed his lips to Michael's.

Jesus. This wasn't anything like he thought it would be. Sure, he'd kissed a couple of people before, but it could never compare to this. Michael's lips were so soft and gentle against his, tentatively setting up a rhythm that they both could follow. Michael's hands weren't in his shirt anymore, they were slipping sweetly into his hair, pulling him closer. Michael's breath was warm against his face. One of Michael's arms was looping around his neck. Michael was letting Jeremy rest his hand on the curve of his waist, Michael's mouth was yielding to his own as their rhythm increased slightly, Michael's lips were parting ever so slightly in a soft sigh, Michael let out a small whine when Jeremy brushed his tongue against Michael's lower lip, Michael was climbing into his lap, Michael was pulling him closer, Michael, Michael, Michael. 

When they both pulled away, Jeremy opened his eyes to see Michael, looking slightly dazed, his eyes still closed and his face flushed, his still parted lips red and slightly wet. Jeremy's face flushed even more than it already was at the realization that they just sort of made out.

When Michael's eyes opened, Jeremy smiled at him, unable to help it. God, he was so happy. He felt like he might cry from how happy he was. And Michael must have felt it, too, because he was matching Jeremy's smile, leaning closer and resting his forehead against Jeremy's. He laughed a little, and said, "I never thought I'd be able to kiss you." He shifted a little, still in Jeremy's lap, seemingly a little embarrassed by the small confession.

Jeremy just smiled wider, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to Michael's forehead. "Me neither. I- I really do love you, you know."

Michael's face flushed again. "I love you too."

As they leaned in for another kiss, Jeremy thought that he loved the idea of being able to get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> like comment and subscribe if u liked this youtube video


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